...you

Its beyond my control.
Just out of my reach; like
Its infectious, this idea of
I'm just wanting, wishing, hoping for
to see how it could be.
Compulsive thoughts take hold.
I repress them, yet
possess something beyond measure;
a beauty, a curse, something
cannot hide.
Torturous when
invade my mind.
Addictive; I want to see
more and more but fear nothing shall result.
It's depressing,
Frustrating,
Defeating, that
are held just beyond my grasp.


So here I remain if
find the events in the present are not a good match for
I'll wait, continue this lonely path,
Hoping that
wont find trivial conversation to be bothersome,
Hoping I don't stumble on my words or appear any less of all that I am.
The only pain I endure from waiting is what I get for smiling too much when I think of
As meaningless as it seems, it means everything to me.


My continued frustration and sadness is the result of waiting for
to bring about a day that may never come.